carving itself again at 5/09/2005 05:19:00 AM
"...and i never WORK.. and i waste one day. means i cant buy laptop.. i need a laptop of my own mann. tis com is like CONQUERED by somebody. and thinks tt only he can dl all the things he wans. whatever i wan, it either contains virus or it takes up alot of space. what if i die in TP!!! studynig bit leh.. den hor.. got IT stuffs.. den will learn all de programming thingy? den will learn those multimedia stuffs? w/o those programmes in my com, HOW!!! my bro will not let me DL the prog.. cos it TAKES UP SPACE.. n i think i mentioned a little too loud tt im buying a laptop.. and he heard it.. so i think i heard him saying HOPE I CAN BUY IT ASAP.. what!!!!! means he's gonna have the com of his own.. !! *crAP!!!*"
firstly, its been ages since i last told you "EH. CANNOT USE. I WANT TO USE?" nowadays its either i say hurry up coz i wanna use or unless i'm using halfway and you want to use, i'll just say a while more. have i been CONQUERING this stupid comp? even when i come home from work at 3am in the morning and you are still using, i also never showed any unhappiness isnt it? am i that unreasonable to you? and you've never told me you wanted to download anything UNTIL you said you wanted to download MSN7? and pls try recalling what i said, i never OBJECT to downloading it, i merely ADVISED that it will be VERY laggy for our piece of lousy metal. and i did MENTIONED that you can try downloading and use it though i know it will be laggy. so am i that unreasonable? so becoz of MSN7, you are angry with me. i know you're getting into an IT course, i understand that you will need to download or do stuffs that requires a computer badly in future, i WILL NEVER stop you from doing your sch work if you really need to but i wan to stress again.. up till now you only mentioned to me about downloading MSN 7? and, didnt i even created a folder for your in our hard disk so that you can place or download whatever you want in there, so even if i reformat the comp, your stuffs wont be affected? i have never even checked on what you had downloaded inside, you are absolutely free to download anything you wanted isnt it? lastly to what you've said.. YES i did say hope you can get ur laptop asap. but why?! its REALLY not becoz i can have this comp to myself! why the hell would i want this bloody comp to myself? i just hope if getting ur own laptop, you'll be able to use freely and really achieve in what you need for either your schwork or your interest. so am i that unreasonable to you?
seriously, when i saw that post of yours, i felt very disappointed. i always thought my dearest sis is entering tertiary education and is finally growing up, leading an interesting and educational life. working part time and also attending church believing in Lord Jesus despite our family being Buddhists. nobody has stopped you in doing anything as long as you feel it is right. Dad, Mum, Sis, or me have never stopped you, we might nag abit of this and that but at the end of the day..arent you still doing the things you want to ? everytime you request something to me, as long as it's within my ability, have i said no? you are my sister, the youngest in the family.. the one whom everyone dotes on. but it seems like i'm just a somebody to you as stated by you.
i know i am not a good brother, but i am trying my best coz i love you as my sister. if you feel i am very unreasonable.. i'm sorry.
i just feel hurt.
whatever.
tay xiang zheng
22 years old
22 september 1982
tp student
microelectronics
email
never had much to say
loneliness define me
pain redefines
never here.
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she did it.just leave it.
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